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"excerpt": " Shelly Stolesen, Ph.D. | Psychotherapy in Mill Valley, CA call me now (415) 888-8084 Home About Services Individual Psychotherapy Anxiety and Depression Life Transitions Compulsive Behaviors, Addiction, Sobriety, Recovery Specialties Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Control Mastery Maternal Mental Health FAQ Contact Select Page Explore Your Inner Ocean and Discover What’s Beneath the Surface Get in touch today Therapy for Anxiety and Depression in Mill Valley, California Depression and anxiety are often caused by factors outside of our awareness, under the surface of our inner ocean. Can You Relate to This Woman’s Struggle? Susan (a composite of many clients I’ve worked with) had no sense of her own self-worth. Her narcissistic mother treated her as though she was an extension of herself and related to Susan based on how well she served the mother’s own needs. Susan picked up the idea that her value was in serving the needs of her mother. Susan’s own needs, if expressed, would result in rejection or risk to her relationship with her mother. So, Susan quite naturally learned to prioritize others’ needs over her own. She did not expect others to be attentive or care about her needs. Over time, Susan became depressed because of this ‘serving’ mentality from childhood. In therapy, she worked to eliminate this underlying belief and started to live a more enjoyable life, prioritizing her own needs in her relationships. You Are Innately Healthy People are innately healthy and motivated to change. They seek out therapy in hope (often beneath the surface of awareness) of becoming free from the constraining effects of their painful past. Therapy is ideal for you if you’re committed to mastering the unconscious obstacles standing between you and your biggest goals. If you want to feel freer and have a more enjoyable life, therapy can show you the way. Beliefs You Picked Up in Childhood Are Still with You The main danger individuals face as children is the disruption of their relationship with their parents. Therefore, we develop basic beliefs about ourselves and the world that are designed to keep our relationship with our parents intact. The basic function of these early beliefs is to minimize behaviors that would jeopardize that relationship. Some beliefs, although they feel normal, interfere with healthy developmental goals such as autonomy, competence, success, love, and intimacy – things we all seek to acquire from childhood forward. Childhood convictions, critical to survival when you were a child, are now constricting and interfering with your attempts to achieve your goals as an adult. The beliefs you picked up during your childhood are no longer serving you. These beliefs are mostly beneath the surface of our awareness but have a strong influence on us. Control Mastery Therapy holds that the causes of pain and suffering are invalid and dysfunctional assumptions about ourselves and others acquired during our formative years which interfere with the pursuit of desired healthy goals in our lives. Therapy Works Through therapy, you can gain insights while working with a therapist’s interpretations of your beliefs or by testing the validity in the relationship with the therapist. Therapy helps you develop new perspectives on old patterns of experiencing life that are no longer working. Hi, I’m Shelly The purpose of therapy is to bring about a transformative, enduring, and positive change in your life – for the better. As a therapist, I ask myself: What are my clients’ inherent beliefs? How are they working to change them? What are their goals? How can I make it safe for my clients to carry out their plans to reach their goals? I am a licensed psychologist helping individuals break free from the depression and anxiety they experience resulting from unhelpful unconscious beliefs they picked up from childhood (and after). Working together with my clients in a safe and secure environment, I help them explore their story, uproot their past thinking, and live more enjoyable and free lives. Read More About Me How I Can Help You Individual Therapy Life Transitions Anxiety & Depression Compulsive Behaviors Get Help When You Need It Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name * Email * Phone Number * Message or Comments * Comment Send Message (415) 888-8084 drstolesen@me.com 655 Redwood Highway, Suite 339 Mill Valley, CA 94941 PT © 2026 Shelly Stolesen, Ph.D. ",
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