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Facebook journal — 2025-09-15

Dear Dairy,

I’m on a dog walk.

I tried to start writing twice, both thoughts were practical, both were deleted, which is not part of the form rules obviously.

An SSRI is assuredly a sedative. How do you get introspective on a medication that cuts off your top and bottom 20%.

Then, you clear it, and it’s right there, and then ou can feel it without trying, and so you don’t want it.

Everything is learned or being lost.

Walking by the water, I have no utility in conscious layers, no utility in these words.

I’ll have to deprecate all of them anyway if I return to work.

Don’t forget to lock the doors to your sky castle?

Waste of time. This post was a waste of time. Everything has been a waste of time.

And, yet, i can not read or watch anything with the same eyes. I see the motives, angles, and can build backwards and forwards, faster, and more robust, than I could before.

The strain is that, judgement is usually weighed in the market, you make good decisions you have dominion over more.

Now is the busy work, facing the music, and doing so, maybe I will make tools of these new skills, the ability to burn my own identity, see all thoughts and motives simultaneously, hm.