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Facebook journal — 2026-02-08

Dear Dairy:

The medical establishment would see me become a patient or worse. I say no. I say every day that sought to end me, I have watched end, I have persisted, I have not come to where I am to fall into the medical trap or to subjugate myself before an establishment that exists not to care but to bill or to be insulated from liability.

2 dried / herniated discs which are herniated and have a 3mm protrusion which is on my nerve roots, 50% stenosis, two discs out, have to rehydrate forcibly, and a cascading issue, numbness in left leg, will have nerve death unless either can not cause enough regeneration to overtake degeneration, so it’s between the medical establishments ESI & surgical removal of “obstruction” (my discs) or, defy all medical data, and force the area to cycle, to hydrate, hope that it pulls out while rehydrating, and, completely invert / undo insulin, testosterone, systemic issues, by doing planks, Turkish get ups, calisthenics (pull ups, dips, etc.) in 2 days have gone from 40s plank to 1:30 plank to 2:02 plank, I am targeting a 6 sigma plank time, which would require creating a sheath of strength to guard against the structural failure, which was caused by doctors denying me a diuretic and MRI after they fucked up my medications of accepting to remedy the preliminary onset, of prednisone and Advil, which in tandem with propanolol caused an AKI, and 15 pounds of fluid gain. I have lost 25 pounds in about as many days, currently standing at 192.5 after going from 203 to 214 (last weigh in, five days after steroids).

I refuse probability, I deny and detest any false assumption that the medical establishment seeks to care, I presented with red flags to Sutter - EMTALA was violated. I am pursing a 6 sigma physical recovery using the power of the mind, in tandem with retatrutide, bpc 157, tb 500, NAD, Semax, soon ARA 290, and copious amounts of hate fueled by the memory of my family, all of whom I lost to the medical establishment….

Doing impossible things is easy. I think about the purpose of my life, I am designing an AI OS open source, to stop broken systems from continuing the perpetual cycle of abusing and denying the maltrodden, those without access. I have no affinity for the service class, the bureaucrats, for the modern white class who would cause suffering, slowness, delay, who elevate themselves and define themselves by that elevation, and insulate from view the suffering they cause. And, zero obligation or feeling to define my work, or showcase it, the vile implication I could be purchased, or pander. I would measure myself by the number of people I would seek to relieve from the systems that are built to subjugate them. That is why I will walk away from this. Through pure concentrated hate & resentment of what has become the standard. And, the systems that harmed me, that broke me on their board, I will break the board over them. That is my true goal in life. That is why I carry on, that is my line to hold.