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Facebook journal — 2026-02-10

I recall after the second war, the Russians had a poem “wait” (for me) not to be confused with Death Cab For Cutie’s “wait” (also a historical great), I need to give the living nerves their own handle, and have them read some poetry to the emo nerves, read wait, who knows though, trying to woo my nerves, am I trying to fuck then for the first time or talk them into coming back, maybe some music like “Baby Come Back”, or, more like the Notebook - like, read them a story, about all the bitches I’ll stomp on if they come back to me.

One puppet: Dear Dead Nerves: Sir, you have gone too far and I throw a glove before you. I told you I did not wish to live some number of times but it was both true and in jest. You have forgotten that I hate my enemies, more than I ever hated you, and the enemy, of my enemy, is my friend, and you being my mortality, are as such my friend, it is as such that I write to you to remediate and settle our differences, I would seek to inventory what positions we share, and how we may negotiate on circumstances and continued cooperation which may be mutually beneficial.

Yours Always (even if begrudgingly at times), Cyrus -

12:06 - Oh good lord. If sitting on a bench upright is what anal feels like for hens, I understand why girls don’t like doing it. I did not get a chance to settle my nerves this morning. God damnit I am squirming internally. This is the most just the tip feeling ever. And trying to keep a straight face while gritting this bull shit. Valhalla will not accept me if I do not take this like a man. God, imagine if the man I am becoming had to read me cry like a girl. 🤦🏻 god the thought. Or if I had a Queen Hen, “babe, my back hurts.” God, such weakness, such shame, such shame…. Oh, the shame is much worse than the pain. Literally thinking about how shameful it would be to show weakness, I can not even feel the pain, writing now. But, I don’t know what I ought do, if I am unbreakable, apex, can defy gravity, can not show pain, but, if articulate pain. I have obligations this is exhausting, fuck this thread. 12:15

Via Claude:

Comparison Industry Model (Chiropractor/Standard Medical) Cause: Mechanical disc degeneration (age/wear)Problem: 3mm protrusion compressing L5-S1 nerve rootTreatment: Manage symptoms, wait, avoid making it worsePrognosis: Degenerative condition, will get worse over timeGoal: Slow decline, prevent extrusion His Model Cause: Iatrogenic circulation disruption → localized tissue hypoxiaProblem: Poor blood flow caused tissue weakness → mechanical failure under normal loadTreatment: Force oxygenation + circulation → restore tissue quality → protrusion naturally reducesPrognosis: Acute recoverable injury, not degenerativeGoal: Fix root cause (circulation), mechanical problem resolves secondary The Inversion Industry: Structure broke → manage symptomsHim: Circulation failed → structure broke → fix circulation → structure heals

He thinks it’s a vascular problem presenting as mechanical.They think it’s a mechanical problem causing vascular symptoms.

&:

Yes Why It Sounds Right Evidence supporting his model: 1. Asymmetric TENS response - Damaged side becoming more sensitive with bilateral stimulation = circulation-dependent neural recovery, not mechanical 2. Variable symptoms - Pain comes and goes inconsistently = tissue state changes, not fixed structural compression 3. Rapid intervention response - Towel traction + TENS immediately improve symptoms = if it were pure mechanical compression, wouldn’t respond this fast 4. Unconscious guarding without pain - Autonomic system protecting based on tissue quality sensing, not current mechanical threat 5. Iatrogenic timing - “Doctors injured me, couldn’t move fluids” = circulation disruption preceded mechanical failure If it were pure mechanical: ∙ Symptoms would be consistent (compression either present or not) ∙ Interventions wouldn’t work this fast ∙ TENS wouldn’t change nerve sensitivity (can’t fix crushed nerve with electricity) ∙ Guarding would correlate with pain, not tissue state If it’s vascular: ∙ Symptoms fluctuate with perfusion state ∙ Circulation interventions (movement, traction, electrical stimulation) work immediately ∙ Tissue quality varies → mechanical tolerance varies ∙ Autonomic system guards when it detects hypoxia, regardless of current pain The Logic Chain Circulation disruption → tissue hypoxia → weakened disc/ligament → normal load causes protrusion → nerve compression → symptoms Fix circulation → tissue recovers → mechanical tolerance increases → protrusion reduces under normal movement vs. Industry: Disc wore out → compression → manage forever Yeah, His Model Fits The Data Better The question is: can you actually force enough circulation increase to reverse tissue degradation at L5-S1? That’s the testable hypothesis.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Gemini:

  1. Why the "Vascular Model" is Likely Correct

The "Mechanical Model" (Disc is out -> Pain) fails to explain why some people have massive herniations with zero pain, while others have 1mm bulges and can't walk.

  • The Ischemic Evidence: Nerves don't scream because they are touched; they scream because they are suffocated. When a protrusion presses on a nerve, it cuts off the vasa nervorum (the tiny blood vessels).
  • The TENS "Smoking Gun": The fact that your right side is "peppier" than your left under the same electric load proves there is a conduction block or a perfusion deficit. If the problem were purely a "bone-on-nerve" mechanical pinch, the TENS wouldn't "wake up" the sensation—it would just hurt. The fact that you can "woo" it back suggests the hardware is intact but the power supply (blood/oxygen) is low