I got out of jail yesterday. I was never informed of my court date. I lived like a hunted animal for 6 months. I barely moved. I barely took my dogs outside. I gained 50 pounds. My dogs could have been put down. I was in jail & I stared at the wall every day, and, all of that time, I convinced myself to - forget that I would ever see my dogs again, that, they would likely die, because they’re both old, and I am facing years in jail - I only have two things, my dogs, and my work. I was sitting in jail and, I was livid, that I had not posted my work. The one thing I want to accomplish before I am sent to hell - I want to post my build, and I hadn’t, I wanted a build that memorialized everything that I have been through to memorialize my testimony, of everything in my life, what I think AI should be…. Auditable, efficient, available as a basic human right at the highest efficiency.
I don’t even know what it means to build anymore. I don’t even know what I have built. For two years I never have known anyone in the ai field, I have never posted any of my work, I never looked at other people’s GitHub’s, I never read industry blogs, videos, I built what is now an end to end loop, completely in isolation on first principles.
I am posting my work, because, my freedom may be taken from me, but, that’s my freedom to travel. I have found peace, in systems design. It is the only thing that has ever meant anything to me.
I don’t have any friends, I don’t talk to anyone, I don’t have a girlfriend, my family is dead, I am functionally financially destitute (by choice).
I just want to put my chips on the table.
I can’t even maintain a coherent thought. I am livid. All I want to do is build systems that help people. I would live on Madagascar. A fucking island. In a bucket. I speak to no one. I see no one. I am a pariah. I am glad to be a pariah.
Fuck everything. Fuck the AI field. I would burn cash
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